Sun, May

Pretend Pretend Pretend


I’m going on a World Cruise!

Actually, I’m not, but I wanted to see how it felt to get those words out there.

Bucket list's are now in. Like skydiving, the Grouse Grind, running a marathon, or traveling into space, a World Cruise is one of those things that I know I could easily live with but, realistically, know I'll never get my butt off the pier.

So, let’s pretend! What cruise will it be?

Next year, world itineraries range from 132 nights aboard Cunards Queen Mary Two from New York to New York or to a staggering 180 days aboard Oceania Cruises. Six month's, that’s obstacle number one - without income. While I do know that my company will grant a leave of absence under special circumstances, I’m doubtful that a World Cruise is among them.

I am single and male, so maternity leave is out of the question and would only get me three months off the job. So unless I want to play the gender system and borrow the nieghbours kid for Bring Your Child to Work Day, I seriously doubt I could pull it off.

Cost is another obstacle. Holland America’s full 111-Night World Tour are bargains, starting around $20,000! My problem is whether I want to spend my once-in-a-lifetime World Cruise in the confined to decks or the inside cabin, which I’m sure is what $20,000 would get me.

Suck it up — If I’m going to dream and see the world, I’m getting a suite and I’m going all out for an all-inclusive like Silversea or Crystal so I don’t end up with a bar tabGreat Wall China that exceeds the cost of passage. If I’m in places like Los Angeles and Singapore and Shanghai and Sydney, I’m drinking fancy drinks and not unsweetened iced tea.

So how does one pack for a World Cruise? Laundry really cuts into social sun time. Stock up on a family sized tube of tooth paste and large shampoo. Onboard overpriced mini-versions of essentials like deodorant and shampoo are definitely out. Clothes? I’m not concerned as much with the garments as their size. Months of eating three full meals a day and desserts, to say nothing of the booze and meals in exotic ports, demand tolerant giving waistlines. To my mind, 20 ports of call should see affordable clothes shopping on the way. Cuts down on the laundry time too. Better to do shopping.

Salish Eagle - BC FeriesFinally, I have to decide who will accompany me on my World Cruise because even if I’m only fantasizing, there’s no way I’m forking over a single supplement for such a pricey journey. I’m not even sure I could tolerate anyone else in close quarters for that long a time.

Yes, there are a few obstacles to overcome before I set off on my multi-month voyage around the globe and, until I do, I guess I’ll have to be content with more modest sailings on BC Ferries.

But, maybe, someday. …